falling off the wagon
If you’ve read any of my blog posts before, you’ll know how important meditation is to me. Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself unable to find a moment to practice and breathe. While before, I did it everyday (sometimes even twice), lately it’s become quite difficult to maintain. Falling behind has left me feeling anxious, unfulfilled, and inadequate.
Those feelings are incredibly natural and important to feel. Absorbing what I’m feeling is an of itself a meditation. It’s vital to center yourself in moments where it feels like nothing is going right and remember you are doing the best with what is given to you. Some days, it might feel more meditative to watch re-runs of 90 Day Fiancé or binge watch the new serial killer documentary series on Netflix, than it is to sit and breathe.
It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with the idea that meditation and self care looks and feels different for everyone. I have to remind myself everyday that I am taking care of myself in the best way I know how. If some days I am unkind to myself, I have to remember that that experience is also a part of the process. Acknowledging our faults and learning to move forward is a major piece of growth and understanding. As I learn to incorporate meditation more into my daily life again, I need to remember to have patience with myself and breathe. Not everyday will be perfect. Most won’t be. That’s okay.
Finding your own meditation throughout the day is so important. Taking time to find what moments for yourself look like is vital to your own self care and well being. Whether that be baking something in the kitchen, reading a chapter of a book, calling a friend on the phone, watching a show, or just taking a walk around the block, we all need moments to take care of our minds and bodies. Especially in times like these where everything feels like it’s crashing down around us, taking moments to find yourself will improve your daily interactions ten-fold.
These moments shouldn’t feel indulgent or imply laziness. These are moments where you put yourself and your well being first. The more you do that, the better your work, school, and life practices will be. Because you’ve taken the time to better your mind and body, you are better prepared to face what’s coming.
As I begin to fall into my schedule and figure out how I am going to balance all that is happening, I have to find ways to take care of myself in meaningful ways. What that looks like isn’t exactly obvious, but I’ll find it along the way. And so will you. Just take a deep breath. Watch a trashy show. Feel what you’re feeling. Know that those experiences are valid and you are worthy of more. In the end, we’re all struggling and trying to figure things out. We’re all constantly falling off the wagon and climbing back on. The way we rebuild our strength before attempting that climb back up is what defines us.
