The Valentine’s Day Blues

For some, Valentine’s Day brings candy hearts and teddy bears, but for others it’s a stark reminder of their solitude.

On February 14th, you can expect to find hundreds of social media posts across your feed, anything from your eccentric uncle showing love to his mistress, to your recent ex who already moved on. Being alone on this day and under love’s inescapable presence, can evoke complex emotions and exacerbate feelings of loneliness.

Suicide prevention hotlines receive twice as many calls on Valentine’s Day, more than most other holidays. Psychologists attribute this to a number of factors but find that a major part of this is social media pressure.

“I notice my patients struggle at this time of year,” says Dr. Sevil Gamer, a psychiatrist who specializes in mood and eating disorders. “Social media certainly plays a role in this. Being inundated with photos of couples and messages of love when you feel like you don’t have any, is difficult to cope with.”

For those who spend a lot of time online, Valentine’s Day feels all-consuming when every post depicts these perfect relationships.

“It can be crushing,” says Aastha Patel, a graduate student at Georgia Tech. “I love seeing my friends happy, but it sometimes makes me question what’s wrong with me when seemingly everyone I know is in a relationship.”

It’s important to remember that the posts we see online are cherry picked to show just the best moments of our lives and don’t necessarily represent reality. Valentine’s Day can be a day for loving your friends, family, and most importantly, yourself. Practicing self-care and even taking a social media break might help avoid these feelings of loneliness or despair.

“I like to celebrate with my friends,” Patel says. “We go out, get gelato, and make valentines for each other, like when we were little. I think that’s really something special. Being with people you love is what matters.”